Hello, my name is Cathryn. I am 18 years old and recovering from drug abuse. I started using drugs and alcohol at the age of 11 and my using progressed as I got older. Not only was I just addicted to drugs I was also addicted to my idea of a perfect body image. This idea caused me to starve myself for days at a time just so I could feel what I thought and felt was "normal" and "beautiful". I kept most of my using and addictions a secret. Mainly because I am an addict and I could not stand the thought of anyone trying to control my life or my drug use. Just like they say... We are as sick as our secrets.
I was known as "Cathryn the cheerleader" to some and to others "Cathryn the party girl". By the time I graduated high school I was knees deep into drugs. I was kicked out of my house and living in a Red Roof Inn with two drug dealers. Drugs at this point had become my job, hobby, higher power, medicine, and best friend. I was dependent on drugs!!.... Not to mention, the drugs I was mixing together should have killed me. Somehow by the grace of God I was lucky enough to stay alive. I honestly believe God was watching over me.
My addiction completely took over my life, my mind, my body, my emotions... my soul. I used because I was happy, sad, bored, alone, insecure, numb, etc. I made up excuses such as "Well, it's raining.. lets get high" or "Hey, it's sunny... lets get high. "
At the end of my usage, I couldn't last an hour without snorting anything I could up my nose. Thank God that I sought rehab when I did or I would either be in jail or dead today. (God had his hand on my shoulder). By the time I got help I was way underweight and extremely unhealthy. I went to a treatment center called Cumberland Heights and served inpatient treatment for 30 days. June 22, 2009-July 22, 2009.
I feel as if I have been given a 2nd life. I now live in Nasvhille and attend a 12 step program on a regular basis. I found that through my higher power (God) and through working this 12 step program... anything is possible and I can cope with difficult situations that come my way without the use of drugs or alcohol. I learn that the more time in recovery I have, the more sane I become. Which is why I decided that the title "Recovery Equals Sanity" is the perfect title for my blog.
ENJOY!!!